Jun 17, 2011

Fantasy Over

Not so simple these days. the hope that things will get smooth for me, and for my son is gone, and I might need to postpone my travel back North yet again. Just when everything seemed to fall into place and the end of the turmoil was in the visible horizon, everything flipped again. I miss Patti and can’t wait to get out of here. Too much and too long.

OrtegaOaksRVPark 004

Friday, June 17th, 2011 – Without any active project the days seem to crawl rather slow. Mid month just past, and I really need to find some source of income this month. Patti and I are doing great so far, and trying to support each other remotely as much as we can, looking forward to the day we can finally reunite, the day that is getting closer and closer now. Or is it?

OrtegaOaksRVPark 001I think it was Tuesday early afternoon when I called my ex, trying to expedite the handling of my son’s custody change. This was when I realized the she has no intentions to let him move at all. “You and I don’t agree on the way the kids should be raised, and I want them be raised my way”, she told me. After 3 months letting my son live with me, and leading him and I to believe she will agree, that came as a surprise. a bitter one.

When I talked to my son and told him about this new situation, he could not believe. He was devastated. “How come? She told me she will let me go…. “ he mumbled. I could see tears in his eyes when he finally turned to me and said – “No matter what dad, I will always be with you. You are in my heart, and that no one can take!”

I promised him that day that I will do anything in my power to get him to move in with me.

OrtegaOaksRVPark 002The next few days I started my research. I browsed the internet, contacted Family Attorneys and tried to understand where I stand. The most important thing is, that my son wants to be with me. Apparently the state of California puts a very heavy weight on the kids choice, and starting at the age of 14, they actually listen to the kids unless there is a reason not to (i.e. unfit parent). My son is only 5 months away from 14, and the judge will definitely put a heavy weight on my son’s choice, being so close to that age. I heard it from more than one source.

Problem is – it all takes time, aggregation and money. Lots of it. Lawyers are very expensive here in CA ($300/hr), and being separated from Patti for a long time is not my preference either.

OrtegaOaksRVPark 005The comforting thing is, that Patti supports me all the way – “it takes whatever it takes”, she said, “we have to do whatever we believe in, and whatever is the best for your son”. These words of encouragement meant the world to me! This shows deep love and care.

So that is pretty much what occupies my mind these last few days. Getting everything ready to the time that I may need to hire the services of an attorney and stay here longer than I thought.

Last Hope

But just before that – I am going to try one more time with my ex, explaining to her that she could save a lot of aggravation time and money to all of us, by letting my son go. It would be much easier on him knowing that his mom let him go from her love and care to him, rather than being forced to do that.

What can I say, my friend. Life is not a honeymoon, and surprises are around every corner. I hope and pray that this last attempt will be fruitful and I will be able to resume normal life soon, after all. WE will have to live and see, won’t we?


  1. Some ex's just have to make the kids pay for what they perceive is payback for their own pain. It's just WRONG and one thing I always refused to do. Kids should come first...period!

  2. Motty! This will turn out better than you think. Believe me, I have experience in this area. My youngest daughter recently contacted me because she wants to start a relationship with her dad. Her mother did everything she could to be sure that never happened. I have not seen my daughter since she was 2. She is 29 now. God indeed works in mysterious ways. Keep the faith!!

  3. See, I knew things would turn out good.